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i walk funny

i’m pigeon toed. but probably not as pigeon toed as i would have been had my feet not been stuck in shoes attached to a bar hanging on my crib for the first year of my life.
i hated this bar and broke the wood on my crib by banging my feet against it trying to escape.
this medieval contraption is called a Denis Browne bar, and may or may not have something to do with my lifelong propensity for flight rather than fight.