Posted on

poison ivy

i am covered in poison ivy. all over my torso. ALL OVER my torso. itchy blisters. increasing intensity. appeared on monday, they are still getting worse 4 days later.

spent a half hour pulling weeds last weekend and will now spend the next 2 weeks in pure unadulterated urushiol hell.

the first time in my life i got poison ivy was last year after doing yard work. i’ve hiked and camped all over in and out of the woods for 36 years in shorts and short sleeves and never got poison ivy a single time. as soon as yard work entered the picture last year i’ve been plagued to some degree.

 i am politely recusing myself from doing any yardwork for the rest of my life.

i will plant food in the garden, and tend to the plants, but i am never pulling weeds again. chopping down unspecified jungle growth is not happening again. absolutely is not worth it.

i love doing yard work. i love making the yard look nice. i love watching the progress. i love how immediate the gratification is.

i cannot live 6 months of every year in itchy pain.

i have a friend tyler in california who told me a few years ago he could not move to asheville because of the poison ivy. at the time i thought he was kind of nutty. now i understand. all this beautiful bountiful natural wonder with hidden shiny red blistering biting side effects.

kevin is calling me ‘bubble boy’ and i feel like a whining, complaining wuss, but god DAMN this shit is terrible.

any poison ivy cures, natural or unnatural, lay em on me. i would much rather the rash hurt than itch. i can handle pain, it’s the itchiness that is waking me up at night and generally driving me batty. 2+ weeks is a long harsh payment for 30 minutes of yard work.